I apologies for the long absence whereby I could not write my blog.
My paternal granny passed away on 2 July. I felt ambivalent about her death. As her grandson, I do not want her to go but because she was suffering due to old age, it was better for her to depart. My attempts to communicate with her recently were in vain as she was partially deaf and was semi-conscious most of the time.
My heart broke when my uncles and aunts assured her, saying 'You had suffered long enough, don't worry about any matters.' She could not reply back as she was breathless but tears were streaming down her cheeks. She understood the message.
As days passed by, her aged body started to give up. She was put on respirator and feeding tubes. Family members gathered round to see a last glimpse of the grand matriarch of the Tan family. She passed away peacefully with her son by her side at the ripe age of 93.
Before I left for USA, it was a great blessing that my brother brought me to see her. She herself knew that I may not see her again with my one-year stint in USA. It was a sad departure for me to see her crying but I know she is proud of me for being her first grandson to pursue Ph.D. and working at Johns Hopkins Hospital. I was given a farewell red packet as a form of blessing for my journey. The red packet has been pasted on my wall since I arrived here.
History seemed to repeat itself. Many years back in 1993, when I was also in USA for a two-month industrial attachment, my maternal granny passed away. My heart grieved for not attending her funeral. The same thing happened again now.....
I can only express my feelings in this song, 'To where you are' by Josh Groban.
Who can say for certain
Maybe you a’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You a’re still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you a’re there
A breath away i’s not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn'’t faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you'’re there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
I know you'’re there
A breath away'’s not far
To where you are
4 comments:
SO sorry to hear this news,please take care.
a story from " tuesdays with Morrie":
The srory is about a little wave, bobbing along the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air-until he notices that the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.
"My god, this is terrible, look what's going to happen to me."the wave says.
Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to the first wave: " why do you look so sad?"
the first wave says: " you do not understand!We're all going to crash!All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?"
The second wave says: " No, you do not understand.You are not a wave, you are part of the ocean.
yes, part of the ocean.
zimin
when u sang the song,it was reli good. When u sing with real emotion instead of "neh neh neh",it makes all the difference! Who says u may nt become a singer one day?
Debbie:)
my condolences. your beloved grandma has completed her journey. we have to continue with ours. be strong. take care.
Thank you for your condolences! Appreciate your concerns. I am moving on now.
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