I Believe

On Jan 4, 2007, I received a happy news which I had been anticipating since I started my graduate studies on Jan 7, 2002. Thank you, Abba Father and all glories are yours! I could change my salutation title to Dr. from Mr. It was like a fairy tale came true.

From young, my nickname in Teochew was "Ah gong" (English translation would be stupid or slow). I had been teased for doing foolish things or be the butt of the jokes. Who could have thought that this ‘fool’ had climbed to the pinnacle of education and succeeded!

Embarking on this path had its ups and downs. The perks included acceptance of papers, paid oversea trips to conferences (which were dependent on supervisor’s fund) and one was paid to study as the term ‘professional student’ so aptly described. There were periods of self-doubts, frustration at failed experiments after repeating umpteen times, many nights spent at laboratory, rushing for publications and their revisions, etc.

This journey had taught me much, from perseverance to self-confidence. I thought organizing and writing a 40,000-word dissertation was impossible. I often experienced a writer’s block where I could stare at my laptop screen without writing or editing. It took me four years to submit my dissertation (22 Dec 2005) and another year to get conferred.

The usual thesis examination period was five months but mine took 11 months. I was unlucky to have chosen an irresponsible examiner who claimed after the grace period was over that he/she could submit a report two months later. During last year, I was working at Johns Hopkins University which requested for my Ph.D. degree where failure to produce the certificate could result in my termination after one year contract. Anger and anguish accompanied me through this dark period. My patience was severely tested. I requested for a change to a new examiner in mid August where I am grateful to him/her for submitting the report within two months!

D-day was on 3 Nov 2006 when I had to present my work to the public. Next, was the ‘grilling’ session where the examiners would ask questions pertaining to my work. I felt my brain was squeezed dry for 45 minutes. After the whole session was over, I was congratulated for passing the examination.

I dedicate my success to my beloved mum who had set an example for me to follow. Though she was illiterate, she worked hard through her hands to get me to where I am today. When I finally got my conferment letter, I can truly say, ‘I believe’ as in the song by Fantasia Barrino.

Have you ever reached a rainbow's end
And did you find your pot of gold
Ever catch a shooting star
And tell me how high did you soar
Ever felt like you were dreaming
Just to find that you're awake
And the magic that surrounds you
Can lift you up and guide you on your way

[Chorus:]
I can see it in the stars across the sky
Dreamt a hundred thousand dreams before
Now I finally realize
You see I've waited all my life for this moment to arrive
And finally, I believe

When you look out in the distance
You see it never was that far
Heaven knows your existence
And leads you to be everything you are
There's a time for every soul to fly
It's in the eyes of every child
It's the hope, the love that saves the world
And, oh, we should never let it go

[Chorus]

I believe in the impossible
If I reach deep within my heart
Overcome any obstacle
Won't let this dream fall apart
See I strive to be the very best
Shine my light for all to see
Cause anything is possible
When you believe yeah.

Finally, I like to share with you two quotes which had kept me going while writing my thesis:

‘Many of life's failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up.’
Thomas Edison

‘Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.’

Sri da Avabhas (Adi Da Samraj)